In the next part of this blog, I want to unpack whose responsibility it is to right this situation within the church. It is not the job of the Senior Pastor alone, nor is it the church staff’s job; rather it is the responsibility of every single member of the church.
In the last blog entry, we looked at the situation in the American church regarding discipleship, or the lack there of, as compared to the time and dedication put into other pursuits. We talked about how, in many cases, it has become the norm for the church to chase after becoming “relevant” to lost people, but how it does so in a way that causes people to become distracted from The Gospel and its power to change lives, the very thing that is relevant to everyone.
So, let’s jump right in. Who’s job is it to disciple others? Matthew 28 shows us that everyone who is a follower of Christ must be a disciple. So, what does that look like on an individual level? Let’s explore Paul’s letter to Titus in the New Testament and view the way he instructed Titus to lead the Church. It gives very clear guidelines for the people who are to be in church leadership, and it has a message for every man, woman, and young person in the church. I encourage you to read Titus before reading this next blog, and then we will walk together through Titus, focusing mostly on Chapter 2, beginning with a look at women in the church, then men, and then slaves.
Women in the Church: “Teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5
Older women are to honor God; they can’t talk bad about others. This is difficult for everyone, but we all know that lady, or group of ladies,(every church has them) that are constant gossips. It’s human nature to talk bad about others. A new juicy rumor arises: someone has gone off the reservation and committed one of the “bad sins,” and we all feel the need to bring that person to ruins before we even know what really happened.
Paul saw this happening in his time, and he knew it had no place in the church then, just like it has no place in the church now. He is making sure that Titus understands that no good can come of it. So, Paul’s instruction is for Titus to guide the older women in the Church at Crete to spend their time investing in the younger women and teach them the values of being a Godly woman.
I have found the woman I want to marry in Jennifer. She is amazing. While she may have a pretty good idea of what a Godly wife looks like, in order to best serve me as a Godly wife, she needs older women with a great deal of marriage experience to rise up and talk with her, guide her, and walk with her, through the challenges and hardships she has never thought of that will arise in our marriage. This is the job of women in the Church! Paul is showing Titus that, in order to strengthen the marriages and relationships within the church, older women must instruct and guide younger women to “love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.”
So, just to be clear, it is the job of the older women, not the pastor, in the church to raise up and instruct the younger women to live lives that glorify God. What does this look like today? Well, this is a relatively broad spectrum that spans many different ideas… Simply put, since gossiping is already out, instead of talking bad about the younger women in our churches, it is the job of our older women to step in and walk beside these younger girls, teaching them with humility and gentleness, the ways that please God as well as addressing serious issues every woman faces. These include: Dressing appropriately, learning to love their mates like the church is supposed to love Christ, seeking a Holy household for their marriages, and dealing with the day in day out struggles of the everyday woman. On the flip side of that, younger women cannot write off what the older women say, but instead, must listen and take to heart the counsel of Godly women. This is of great importance!
Men in the Church: “Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.” Titus 2:2 and 6-7
When I read this, the first thing I see is that respect is earned, not pre-existing. This is important, because in our culture today, men seem to walk with a sense of entitlement; they almost demand to be respected. However, this is not the case! A man can be active in the church and still live in a way that dishonors God and is not respectable. It is through his actions and day to day life that the respect will come.
Paul is instructing Titus to teach the men in Crete the virtue of self-control. Men, let’s be honest. This is probably the single hardest thing for us to do. Self-control is more than just keeping our anger in check. This means keeping tabs on our lust, our desire for power, our greed, our sexual temptation, discipline to stay in God’s word, making right decisions, honoring our wives, and instructing younger men even when we don’t want to. Self-control is impossibly hard. And yet, that which we see as so difficult is exactly what we are to pursue wholeheartedly. What a list!
Older men are to lead and guide younger men, teaching them to desire and value wisdom, to value and pursue a sound Faith, and to have patience. Older men must instruct younger men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. (Eph 5:25-27)
Younger men, listen to a fellow young man when I say that this is of the utmost importance… Listen and absorb as much as you possibly can from these older men. Life will be so much easier if you will step out of your pride and humble yourself enough that you can learn to love these times of discipleship. Lose the pride that is so deeply ingrained in our rebellious hearts, throw yourself headfirst into their wisdom, and ask all the questions you can think of.
My life has forever been impacted by the time I have spent under Godly men like Chris Estes and my Father. When I was growing up, I began a struggle with a pornography addiction. It has been a long, difficult battle over the years in which I have come in and out of dark times in my addiction. Now, with my relationship with Jennifer heading toward marriage, it is more crucial than ever that I seek this wise counsel from these men, learning to flee from that which can ruin me, as I try to become more like Christ so that our marriage will flourish rather than end in disaster. These men have experiences in life that I have not yet walked through. My time learning from them, in the past, now, and in the future, will prove to be the most valuable tools I have had access to in my spiritual growth. Older men, see this as a testament to the power that comes from Godly men instructing younger men in the ways of Christ.
Men, pride is the enemy’s number one tool against discipleship. Don’t let your “manliness” blind you from the fact that we are all in desperate need of God’s plan for our growth, and have far too much to learn to allow our pride to distract us from it.
Slaves/Volunteers in the Church
So, as you can see, there is a clear model for discipleship for men and women, both young and old, within the church. Now what about this “slave” business? I hear you saying. “we don’t have slaves anymore…” Well, I disagree. As humorous as this sounds, if you have ever been a volunteer in a church, you have felt like a slave before, I can assure you of that. So, in the context of volunteers, let’s look at what the Bible says about slaves.
“Slaves must always obey their masters and do their best to please them. They must not talk back or steal, but must show themselves to be entirely trustworthy and good. Then they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive in every way.”
So, these are the guidelines for slaves/volunteers simply put: Obey leadership. When they ask you to do something, don’t complain or interject your opinion unless it’s asked for. Don’t argue with leadership when you’re asked to do something, and don’t steal from your position. Instead, be trustworthy; don’t allow your attitude or opinions to overshadow your willingness to serve. Remember that volunteers have the largest impact on a church, more than any other position. They directly affect how attractive or unattractive the Gospel truly is to others.
Volunteering is difficult. Giving of your time and effort to accomplish a common goal is not easy. But so many times volunteers get burnt out. They work really hard for a month or two, and then opinions of how things could be done differently usually run rampant. Under certain circumstances this is ok, but for the most part, when conflict arises in the church, it is due to opinionated people spreading around their own selfishness without going through the proper channels.
Volunteers have a unique view of the church: they are close enough to leadership to see the regular goings on of the leaders in the church but are not normal churchgoers anymore who simply attend. Because of this, in some unhealthy church situations, volunteers feel the need to speak up or take action against church leadership. This is wrong. The decay rate on church volunteers is dreadfully high because when disagreements arise, when conflict or even exhaustion come, they simply quit.
So what’s the deal? Why is there such a stressed situation within the American church when it comes to volunteers? It all boils down to a lack of the Gospel being applied to volunteering. See, the Gospel explains to us that we don’t volunteer to help the church function. That is only a byproduct of our real goal, which is to please God by serving His church. When we change our mindset from, “Where can I serve, how can I get to a place where I can interject my ideas to better the church?” to, “How can I serve God wholeheartedly, with humility, and follow His will for my service in the church?”, then it changes our goal from us, to God. This is what Christianity is all about anyway!
As a final word on volunteers, I would like to point out that it isn’t the Pastor, the church staff, or even the members that make a church appealing to outsiders, it’s the volunteers. “Then they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive in every way.” Volunteers drastically affect the validity and impact that the Gospel has within the church. If you have a bad attitude, the Gospel is poorly reflected upon, and if you serve God with your time and do your best, the Gospel thrives.
So then, what it all boils down to is this. The church is an amazing place to be. God is using the church to accomplish His plan for all of us. But, His plan will not be carried out to its full potential without the men and women of our churches getting out of our comfortable chairs, rolling up our sleeves, and plugging into the messy, difficult, sometimes painful process of living life with our fellow believers. Not socializing, not pretending to be something we’re not. It takes an older man or woman plugging in, one on one, with a younger man or a younger woman, teaching them about their life experiences, sharing their faith, sharing examples of the pitfalls of early Christian life, and giving guidance. It also takes younger generations of young men and young women getting plugged in with older men and women and sitting under their counsel, listening, learning, and applying the lessons they learn.
Both the older and younger men and women must realize this: Discipleship does not work if there is pride in the way of instruction.
For older men and women to have doubt of their relevance to a younger generation is understandable. There will be differences between the two, but an attitude of pride or preconceived notions of how you will be received have no place in this process. Ask God to humble you, to get rid of your pride and acknowledge the power God has to break down the walls of confusion and misunderstanding so that you can find common ground on which to build your relationship. Avoid scolding or criticizing without establishing a solid relationship, and then correct them in their behavior with humility and a sincere heart.
To the older men and women reading this blog: My prayer is that you will look into your own life, think of that one young person in your life that seems to need guidance or has just come into the faith. I hope you will pray first about developing a relationship with them, and second that you will ask God to prepare your heart for the lessons you will teach and be taught. Remember, most importantly, this is not about you and not about the person you are discipling; this is about obedience to the command of Jesus to train those around you.
For the young generation of believers, this means you absolutely have to understand that these older men and women are not here to get on to you or scold you for the things they disagree with you on, but to help you understand that they have been your age and do know what goes on in your head. No, not all problems you face have been faced by this older generation, but nine times out of ten, they have indeed been in very similar circumstances. Do not write off what is said as being irrelevant to you if you don’t understand it; instead ask questions. I’ll say it again: ask questions. This is so important.
My prayer is that you will look into your own life and think of that one older person in your life that has that wisdom and a rock solid faith you so strongly desire, and that you will pray for God to give you an opportunity to ask them for guidance. Pray for humility and seek God’s will for who will guide you. Don’t choose someone you think is “hip” or “cool,” but look at the fruit of their relationship with God. Then talk to them, ask them if they would consider investing their time in you and take a notebook, you’re going to need it.
In the final installment of Discipleship in the Church, the focus will be on some specifics. It is a fantastic concept, discipleship, and it seems like a great plan, one on one learning and guidance. But what if your church is in the dangerous place where there is little or no connection between younger and older generations? What if this concept of Discipleship isn’t taking a Biblical approach in your Church? What if leadership has decided that small groups are enough and that they are going to accomplish this discipleship role in your church? What can we do? What can we change to make this discipleship mindset a reality within the American Church?
It all starts with getting ourselves to a place of Holiness with God and having a humility in our hearts that is genuine, and that’s what we’ll be talking about next.
Thanks for reading; your comments are always welcome!
Jp
